Transwomen are Women.

Alright, I know I already lost half of my audience. That’s ok. My page wasn’t meant for them anyway. What I am open to is discussion. I’m not going to say your views are wrong, but I will say that in the current climate, instead of hating someone else’s personal choice, we need to show more love.

I had a lot going on in my brain for the last few days. We know there’s an election upon us. If you are in the state of Arizona, you know that voting has been purple lately – it used to be bright red, but the blues have been coming in with a mission. I have always considered myself as a libertarian but I’m a registered republican because I believed that was the “right” way to be. However, as I’m getting older and paying closer attention to those who represent us, I’m seeing that you only have a choice between the most radical in the parties.

The candidates that are chosen to represent me and my registered political affiliation don’t actually reflect my views. But neither does the other side, completely. So where do I belong?

Let me backup a little. Over the last few days, I’ve had conversations with people close to be about issues in the Alphabet Mafia (the LGBTQ+ community. Side note: I use the term “Alphabet Mafia” with love, it’s an ever-growing community and I want to include everyone). One friend said they were having issues with addressing a trans friend by their prefered pronouns. Another came out to me as a different orientation than they originally identified (very proud and happy for this person, btw).

I’ve been watching a Tik Toker/YouTuber by the name of Dylan Mulvaney, a trans woman who is documenting their “100 Day of Girlhood” which has since turned into just “days of girlhood” because she’s well past her 100 days. I think the reason Dylan did this was to normalize transitions and make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. You realize your mind aligns with being female more than male and so you live your life in that gender. It doesn’t hurt anyone? Right?

I supported Dylan when I first saw her posts. I still do support her in her journey, but now I have some opinions as she’s coming to a close on her first year of girlhood. Dylan is a comedian and with that job comes a lot of exaggeration. So when I watch her videos, I take what she says about her journey with a grain of salt. But someone framed my opinion in words I hadn’t been able to come up with. Dylan is a caricature of what it means to be a woman. She uses stereotypes and hyperbole in her videos to describe girlhood/womanhood.

Let me be clear: Dylan is going through things as a trans woman that I will never understand or have to go through as a cis-gender woman. I can never relate to the hate she receives from total strangers and those close to her. I will never put her down for her journey.

What bothered me was that she was setting the stage for what it meant to be a female. But the thing is, Dylan never got to experience “girlhood”. She never got to play with high heels and wear princess dresses as nightgowns or dig her little hand into her mom’s makeup without repercussion (I’m assuming). So if the stereotypes is what defines girlhood for Dylan, then live your best life, girl.

When I really sat down and thought about it, I realized that her portrayal of what it meant to be a woman was a ME problem. She wasn’t hurting anyone. Hell, she stocked up on tampons and gave them out on the street to girls in need. How could that be a bad thing?

During my period of gently hating on Dylan I felt like if I was against one trans woman then I was against the entire community. I don’t have trans friends (that I know of), but I didn’t want to hurt anyone either. But having an opinion of someone’s personality that doesn’t vibe with mine doesn’t mean I’m against them or their desire to be who they want to be.

Ultimately, I realized, Dylan is behaving “stereotypically” because that is all she knows about girlhood right now. She’s still in the infancy stage in her transition and there is a lot of growing up she still has to do before she reaches “womanhood”. I can’t imagine the pain she felt feeling trapped in the wrong gender, but now she is a “girl” trapped in an adult body. Rather than hating on her, I realized I need to love her. A person I have never met. I need to love her like I love my friends. Because through watching her videos, Dylan emanates nothing but love.

I need to be a safe place for people to be themselves. I will continue to have my opinions, and they may differ from my friends and family, but I will never stop loving you.

I said all of this just to drive home this one point: I love you. I love you for who you are. It’s not about your clothes or makeup or the fact that you can grow or not grow facial hair. I don’t love you for how, where, or what body you were born into. I want to love you like Jesus would love you: because you are a good person and we just need to keep making the world a more loving place.