Since the world revolves around me, I get to celebrate my birthday for the entire month of February. I don’t know how long Ty had been planning this evening, but he had been hinting at it for weeks.

“Make sure you take the 18th off work. Your sister and mom agreed to watch the boys so we’re going to have a night out just the two of us.” Was all he said. Well, actually when I pressed him for details, he told me we would dress nice – but comfortable because we would be downtown which meant walking a little. He also said we would have a couple really good cocktails, and that I should exercise my face muscles. This made me laugh out loud. “Is this supposed to be a birthday present for you or for me?” I joked, because I can’t resist such easy humor (sorry, Mom). Ty turned red and told me he was really excited, and I was going to love it.

I resisted Google. I could easily have searched “events downtown February 18” but I didn’t want to ruin the big surprise. It became harder everyday not to investigate. Every day Ty would smile wide and tell me how excited he was and that he couldn’t wait for me to see what he had in store. My anticipation was growing with every passing day.

On my actual birthday, February 9th, I rang in my 31st year with Ty and the boys who gave me the sweetest homemade card and gift. For dinner, Ty made me pork sliders and a homemade caramel and banana creme poke cake. I then tucked the boys into bed by myself for the first time and cried because I was so happy to have my family with me. I felt so appreciated and loved.

For the next 9 days, Ty kept a countdown. “8 more days!” “7 more days!” I was getting very anxious and excited. I knew whatever he had planned was going to be amazing. I had realized long ago that Ty was one of those rare people who I could spend unlimited time with and never get bored. We could go out or stay in, go to a quirky bar or restaurant, or stay home and read books together on the couch. We were in sync. We didn’t need anything except each other for entertainment.

Thanks to my understanding supervisors, I was able to change my shift from Friday to Thursday. And after a wild night on shift I came home just in time to kiss him and the boys goodbye before he headed to work and to take the boys to school. I had planned on being productive during the day but after a stand-up 24-hour shift, plus a two-hour drive home, I passed out hard.

I did wake up just before they arrived back home. I jumped in the shower and went through my entire closet picking and choosing what to wear. Of course, when I want to look good nothing fits right or lays correctly and somehow, I got more bloated over night? But I finally settled on a plaid zip up skirt, green crop top and my jean jacket with my only pair of nice wedge sandles. Ty took one look at me and told me how beautiful I was. This made me smile. I asked him if this was appropriate for the evening’s activities, since I was still in the dark about what he had planned. He assured me it was and that I looked perfect. Ty always looks handsome, but when he dresses up for me, I feel so lucky. He wore a maroon long sleeved shirt and a pair of gray pants. Together we looked ready for a night downtown… whatever it was we were doing.

After dropping the boys off at my sister’s and giving them their “you better behave” speech, we were on the road. We held hands tightly on the drive, the anticipation building. I know I had a big smile plastered on my face, but Ty’s smile was glowing. It made me almost cry to see how much joy he radiated.

We were able to quickly find convenient parking in a garage, which Ty said was a perfect spot… for what I still didn’t know! And it was killing me!

“The first stop is this really cool bar where they make these crazy cocktails.” He explained. “It’s a short walk but it’s just up the street.” I was super ready. Crazy cocktails? I’m in.

As we started our walk, we noticed a man walking toward us yelling across the street. At first, we thought he was just drunk and yelling at cars, then we noticed the woman on the other side of the road. He continued to scream expletives at her and initially, I just ignored them. But when he crossed the street and his verbal abuse did not stop and we noticed she was changing direction every time he followed her, I dialed 911.

“Welcome to downtown.” I said to Ty as I waited for the dispatcher to come on the line. The dispatcher asked the location of the emergency, and I gave her the cross streets and relayed what I had seen. I gave her a description of the male and female and what they were wearing. I told her the male appeared intoxicated and was carrying a Styrofoam cup. She assured me they had an officer in the area that would check it out. I thanked her and said, “It may be nothing, but I’d rather call it in and be safe than sorry.” She thanked me and with an officer on their way, Ty and I continued on with our night.

We made it to Bitter and Twisted and were seated pretty quickly. The decor was very Victorian meets 1920’s meets modern with the 20-foot velvet curtains behind the large red leather booths, the antique lighting and exposed brick on the bar. Our server, a gorgeous dark-haired woman with red lipstick and pink glitter on her eyelids, gave us a guided tour of their extensive cocktail menu. Although, I didn’t like how much attention she paid to Ty, I just snaked my arm through his and sat very closely. Ty said it was all in my head, but I couldn’t blame her for checking him out. He was handsome. I was checking him out too.

The server helped us select our drinks – a twist on a Long Island Iced Tea. “We basically took out anything non-alcoholic and added three more liquors,” she explained. We were sold. We each ordered a L.I.T. Up, knowing that might be our only drink since it sounded so strong (and Ty said we were a little crunched for time), and a vodka sauce pizza.

Our libations were served in Coke-a-Cola cans with mint and lemon for garnish. I was expecting the drink to taste strong and be a slow sipper… but somehow the bitter, burning taste of alcohol was not present and the LIT’s went down a little too smooth. “That’s a dangerous drink,” we commented to each other. We devoured the pizza. Since I accidently slept all day, this was the first time I’d eaten since 5pm the night before – which probably allowed the LIT to hit me a little bit harder. Ty let the server know we were in a bit of a hurry because “the show starts soon.” The server knew exactly what he meant and replied, “Oh awesome! Does she have an opener?” Ty cut her off quickly with a “Don’t tell her! It’s a birthday surprise. She doesn’t know what we’re doing yet!” The server winked at me and told me she was jealous. She wished us a good time. I told Ty to slip the coasters into his pocket. I’m sure they throw them away anyway, but just like I take all of the soaps, shampoos and sometimes a washcloth from hotels, I wanted the memory.

Ty paid and tipped the server and we started walking west along with a large group of people. Ty gripped my hand tight and told me how excited he was. I was excited too; I still didn’t know what was to come. As we reached the light to cross the street, I saw a massive crowd forming ahead of us.

“Are you guys here for the concert?” One of the ladies asked another group of people at the crosswalk. “I’m so excited to see Iliza.”

My head EXPLODED. “ILIZA?!?!” I beamed at Ty. Iliza Shlesinger?! My absolute favorite comedian of all time was touring in our city and Ty had obtained tickets for us. Now I understood why I needed to exercise my face muscles! Ty smiled and said he felt bad the surprise was ruined. He wanted to walk up to the theatre and have me read the moniker. I didn’t care. I was elated. I had never been to a live comedy show and here I was about to see THE QUEEN. I don’t think Ty understood how high above the clouds I felt.

The line to enter wrapped around three city blocks but moved quickly as they checked everyone’s Covid vaccination cards and digital tickets. Luckly, as we learned in Hawaii in December, taking a picture of your card next to your ID saved a lot of time and disappointment if you didn’t carry it with you 24/7. We ordered our drinks, a Mai Thai and a Truely for each of us (not realizing how big those Truelys actually were), and made our way to our seats. We sat down just in time for the opening act: Laura something… I wish I had remembered her name because she was really funny.

At Iliza’s request there was no flash photography, so I wasn’t able to get a picture of her on stage. But her performance was nothing short of incredible. I laughed and nodded and cheered along at her comments on marriage, family, feminism, and the troubles of the bullet proof vest style bra life that those of us who have been “blessed” face day to day.

I had long since abandoned my drinks, realizing that finishing the alcohol was going to be way too much for me in the long run and this was definitely a night that didn’t need to be sullied by a black-out or a bad hangover. Not that I’m a major drinker, but it can be easy to lose yourself in the excitement.

Leaning into Ty I whispered, “This is the best birthday,” and kissed him on the cheek.

He turned and kissed me. “Iliza is the first comedian you introduced me to, do you remember?” I nodded. I did remember. It was our third date and I had invited him to my house for the first time to hang out. We watched all of Iliza’s Netflix specials, laughing until we had tears in our eyes.

As Iliza finished her set and the audience roared in applause, I had Ty take a picture of the stage and the crowd. I mentioned to Ty that I was starving and was in dire need of a chicken quesadilla. He agreed without hesitation. After he helped a very inebriated girl down the steps, (“Please go help her so she doesn’t break an ankle,” I asked him), we quickly made our way out of the crowd to the car.

We laughed and talked and held hands on our way to the (insert prefix here)-berto’s drive through to obtain our greasy, cheesy, gluttonous dinner. Standing at my sister’s door at 11pm I apologized for being so late. The traffic after the show had been busier than we’d realized, but the boys were fed, happy, and sleepy. Jonus and Waylon both fell asleep in the car, mid-story about the events of their night. Without a fight, they both went to bed and passed out faster than even I expected.

Ty and I opened up our quesadilla and animal fries in bed as we reminisced over the past 8 months and talking about the future. We promised to remember this night and to have many more. Ty pulled out a Steven King book (Desperation) and read me the first chapter. Knowing that we probably wouldn’t make it through the second chapter tonight, Ty closed the book and kissed me good night. I thanked him again and again for showing me every day how much he loves and appreciates me.

With Ty, I never have to wonder what he is thinking. He is open and honest and kind and compassionate. He communicates to me his joys, his fears, his sorrows, and his ambitions. He includes me in every part of his life including major decision making and entrusting me with raising his children.

I have never known love like this. Tyrrell, you are my one and only. I love you times infinity plus one.